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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27071788">There is No Sign of Land</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloakoflevitation/pseuds/cloakoflevitation'>cloakoflevitation</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I Hope It's Already Too Late [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Badass Dark Sides, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, Feelings, Gen, I feel like the tags are not making this sound good, No Beta – I Hope We Both Die, Song: No Children (The Mountain Goats), idk just trust me and read it or don't I guess, maybe there's some anger here, not angst but not fluff, that's all I got sorry, these tags smh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-09 00:47:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,503</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27071788</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloakoflevitation/pseuds/cloakoflevitation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>We got the six sides plus Thomas chatting in the living room. Janus isn't being listened to, despite being accepted, and he finally snaps. Basically the dark sides decide to run things their way.</p><p>No plot, no unsympathetic anyone, just an excuse to write badass fed-up dark sides.</p><p>Honestly I have no explanation for this. It just;;; happened.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I Hope It's Already Too Late [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2010970</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>114</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>There is No Sign of Land</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jae_Ex/gifts">Jae_Ex</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So. This was originally <i>supposed</i> to be inspired by No Children by the Mountain Goats. And that... went off the rails. But my lovely friend was the one who introduced me to the idea about this song + the dark sides. So this is for them &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Janus…” Patton gave him a disappointed look, and Janus felt bitter resignation settle firmly on his shoulders. “I thought you agreed to work <em>with</em> us.”</p><p>It was a gentle admonishment, but it didn’t stop Janus from finally reaching his limit and snapping, “I don’t recall agreeing to blindly accept and support all your decisions.” He watched Patton shrink back under his cutting tone. “I thought <em>you</em> agreed to listen to what I had to say without outright dismissing me.”</p><p>“We’re talking about something <em>Remus</em> said,” Roman pointed out, as if that made any difference at all. "Not <em>you."</em></p><p>When Janus turned to him, he noticed Roman gave a tiny flinch. He ignored it, squashing down the lingering guilt and resentment. There was nothing he could do to change the past now, no matter how much he might wish otherwise. He didn’t have time to focus on past mistakes; he needed to prevent new ones. “So it’s only after you’ve deigned to accept us that we can be listened to? We can only be right about something once you’ve let us into your little boys’ club?” He raised an eyebrow, watching his words have their intended effect, and he hated everything just a little bit more for it. “Is that what it is? Is that how this works?”</p><p>Roman crossed his arms and turned away, but Janus saw the way his fingers started to fidget. But whatever nervousness or shame Roman felt didn’t stop him from sharing a pointedly annoyed look with Logan. It stung, watching them interact as if Janus were not standing right there with them.</p><p>The remains of his patience slipped through his fingers until he was left holding nothing at all. “If you won’t listen to me, <em>accepted or not,</em> unless I agree with whatever you’ve already decided is the right answer, then what’s the point?”</p><p>“That’s not fair,” Patton started, and Logan said something else over top of him, but Janus’s attention was pulled to Remus.</p><p>Remus shook his head slightly, a silent signal to Janus, telling him to let it go, that it wasn’t worth it. Remus gave him an over-exaggerated eye roll, more for the benefit of the others, but Janus saw the bone-deep tiredness just behind his smirk.</p><p>He pulled his hat from his head long enough to run a gloved hand through his hair. He shoved his hat back down on his head. He felt someone watching him, and looked up to see Virgil, concern set in the tension of his shoulders. Ignoring that, he demanded, “This is worth it?” He gestured sharply to Patton and Logan. “Being here, working with them. Is this worth it?”</p><p>The others fell silent, turning to look at Virgil, who seemed to recede farther into his hoodie under their prying eyes. He shrugged a shoulder that seemed to say, <em>this is the way it is.</em> With a glance towards Roman, he murmured aloud, “It’s worth being listened to. But you have to compromise.”</p><p>“I don’t think I’m even being listened to,” Janus grumbled. He shook his head, ignoring the piercing, calculating gazes Remus and Virgil were both giving him. Raising his voice back to a normal volume, he said, “If they won’t even bother to hear me out, then why should I compromise?”</p><p>“Janus,” Thomas sighed, “You can’t <em>always</em> be right.”</p><p>“But can I be right <em>at all?”</em> Janus shot back, not missing a beat. “Tell me, truly, I want to know. Do any of you think I’m just as capable of providing a solution to a problem as Logan or Roman or Patton? Or even Virgil?” His gaze momentarily flickered over to Roman. “Do any of you think I’m capable of simply telling the truth?” There was a pause that was just a moment too long, and he scoffed, muttering to himself, “The bar was so low, and yet…”</p><p>“The fact of the matter is,” Logan spoke carefully, “Remus has not agreed to work <em>with</em> Thomas. We have not seen him put forth any effort to provide constructive –”</p><p>“No, you mean I haven’t been accepted,” Remus corrected. There was a knife in his hand that hadn't been there before, and he slowly twirled it between his fingers. “There’s a difference. No one bothers to ask for my input, so how could I work with Thomas? I don’t get invited to your little knights of the round table meetings.”</p><p>“If you don’t want to be here,” Roman blurted out, voice angry and too loud and too emotional, “Then just leave. The both of you. We don’t <em>need</em> you.”</p><p>“We need all of us,” Virgil cut in, a dangerous edge in his tone. “We can’t do this without anyone.”</p><p>A silence hung in the air, everyone thinking of the time Virgil had tried to duck out.</p><p>Roman whispered, "That's not what I meant."</p><p>Something went flying through the air, and once it was embedded in the staircase railing, Janus realized it was the knife that Remus had been holding. Virgil shot Remus a dark look at having the knife thrown in his direction. Remus wore an oddly somber expression.</p><p>“Maybe we should take a break for today,” Thomas offered. “We’ve been at it for a while, everyone’s tired, I’m tired. We can come back to this later.”</p><p>“There’s no need.” Janus forced a tight smile across his lips. “It comes down to this – whether or not the point that I want to discuss will be considered. That point being the one that Remus originally mentioned.” No one said anything. No one seemed to be able to look at each other anymore. No one agreed to discuss it, and that was as good as a spoken condemnation of the idea as far as Janus was concerned. He wished that he could say he was surprised, but in truth, he had expected this, at least on some level. “Perfect.” He squared his shoulders and stood up a tiny bit straighter. “Then we’re done.”</p><p>“Done?”</p><p>“I’m done. I no longer feel the need to work <em>with</em> you.” He spat their word back at them. “It’s over.”</p><p>“Now kiddo, don’t get worked up, once we all take a break, we can –”</p><p>Janus waved a hand, and Patton, Roman, Logan, and Virgil all brought their hands up to cover their mouths. Thomas started to protest, and Janus shot him a look in warning.</p><p>“I realize now the fantasy I had of being listened to and appreciated in the same way as the rest of you has all been a folly. You are <em>never</em> going to value my input. In your eyes, I’ll never be as good as you.” A humorless grin stretched across his cheeks, revealing his fangs. “Acceptance was my goal – my <em>dream</em> – for so long, and now I see it was never worth it. It was all an illusion.”</p><p>“Don’t do this,” Remus said quietly, the seriousness of his voice sending a shiver down Janus’s spine. “Think about what you’re throwing away.”</p><p>Janus threw his head back and laughed, knowing he probably looked like he was losing his grip on reality. But he didn’t care. “Remus, there’s <em>nothing</em> here to lose.”</p><p>“That’s not true,” Remus said, glancing at Virgil, whose eyes were wide, eyeshadow darker than normal.</p><p><em>Oh.</em> Janus paused and sobered. “I stand corrected.” He tilted his head and allowed Virgil to pull his hand away from his mouth. “Virgil? Will you join us? That is – assuming you’re with me?” Janus turned to Remus then, who scoffed and rolled his eyes, but nodded, exasperated with Janus, as if there was any possible way that he wasn’t with him.</p><p>An accusation from Virgil pulled his attention from Remus. Virgil had his arms crossed. “You’re making me choose?”</p><p>The <em>again?</em> went unsaid.</p><p>“No,” Janus softly replied, adding his own silent, <em>not again.</em> “I want to know if you would establish a new way of doing things with us. A new operating system.” To Virgil’s left, Logan’s expression radiated anger behind the hand over his mouth. It made Janus admit to Virgil, “Although, I can’t promise that the others won’t make you choose. Something tells me if you stop participating in their little roundtable teamwork sham, they might not want anything to do with you.” He hesitated then, but forced himself to be vulnerable, to take the first step, to offer something that could one day look like reconciliation. “But if you choose not to join us, if you choose to keep working with the others… my door will still be open to you.”</p><p>Virgil’s eyes grew wide.</p><p>Muffled noise came from behind Patton’s hand.</p><p>Janus sighed, angry but <em>so</em> tired. “You don’t have to do this. I know… I know change is hard for you.” Old memories clouded his mind. “I know it was not easy to earn your place here… and now I’m suggesting that you give it up.”</p><p>Virgil pressed his lips together. “What <em>are</em> you suggesting, exactly?”</p><p>Janus raised a shoulder in a shrug. “Haven’t we followed their rules for long enough? Weren’t we in the <em>dark</em> for long enough?”</p><p>“We did our jobs…” Virgil protested, but he didn’t sound sure.</p><p>“Not like they did. Not with Thomas. We weren’t listened to, we intervened only when absolutely necessary.”</p><p>“So what – they don’t listen to us so we brute force it?” He sounded skeptical.</p><p><em>“No,”</em> Janus replied vehemently. “This isn’t at the expense of Thomas. Whatever we do, it’s in his best interests.”</p><p>“If that’s true,” Thomas cut in, his voice gentle but unyielding, “then let the others speak.”</p><p>Janus held his gaze for a long moment, and then he sighed, and the others’ hands fell away from their mouths.</p><p>Everyone started talking at once, but eventually Roman’s voice rang out over the others. “Virgil, don’t listen to him! Don’t give up everything that you’ve worked so hard for – that <em>we’ve</em> worked so hard for! He’s different than you! He’s a liar and dangerous and–”</p><p>“And he’s right,” Virgil cut him off, sounding sad and resigned but <em>certain,</em> and it cracked Janus’s heart, to have Virgil stand behind him on something again.</p><p>Janus raised his eyebrows, knowing there was far too much hope in his expression as he looked across the room to Virgil.</p><p>Virgil shrugged and smiled in a way that wasn’t happy. “I’m a cynic, what can I say? I know <em>this…”</em> he gestured to where all of them stood in Thomas’s living room. “It isn’t working. Will Janus’s plan work? Probably not.”</p><p><em>Gee thanks,</em> Janus thought, but before he could ask why Virgil bothered to agree if he didn’t have any faith in him, Virgil continued.</p><p>“I kinda hate him, to be honest. Remus too.”</p><p>“Fuck off,” Remus interjected, at the same time that Janus added dryly, “The feeling is mutual.”</p><p>Virgil flipped them both off. <em>“But</em> I wouldn’t miss whatever shitshow this is about to be for anything.” He grinned, and Janus was suddenly reminded of how similar Virgil was to Remus. “Maybe we should have worked on that repression shit,” he said with a deprecating chuckle, looking at Patton, “because I’ve got a lot of grievances to air.”</p><p>“But–”</p><p>Remus elbowed Roman, <em>hard,</em> when he tried to say something, and bit out, “Just because things are ‘better’ now, doesn’t mean it’s forgotten.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Virgil shrugged. “It was nice that you guys tried not to hate me, but it’s different from being valued and being treated the same. I dunno, I guess… maybe I always knew I would never fit in.” He shrugged again, and then looked directly at Janus. “So yeah, it’s not really a hard choice, choosing to burn down the world with these two idiots, or whatever.”</p><p>Shocked, speechless expressions were worn around the room.</p><p>Logan pulled his tie slightly loose and then fixed it again. “What does this mean?”</p><p>Remus rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck. “We’ve been called a lot of things. Maybe it’s time we showed you how <em>dark</em> and <em>evil</em> and <em>villainous</em> we can really be.”</p><p>“I think it’s time we had our way. There’s no seats at the table, no discussions anymore. If you don’t like what we’re doing, if you have a different opinion, you better keep it to yourself.” Janus took a dark pleasure in the discomfort on the others’ faces. “Stay the fuck out of our way, and you might escape the flames. Otherwise… be prepared to burn.”</p><p>The room got darker, shadows lengthening and sucking the warmth from the room. Virgil’s expression was a little too unhinged, a little too feral to sit quite right. (Memories of a time long gone, when Anxiety was considered Paranoia flashed through Janus’s mind.) Virgil’s voice was gentle, almost like it was supposed to be a twisted kind of reassurance to the others, when he said, “It was always going to end this way.”</p><p>“Really?” Remus asked, amusement clear in his voice.</p><p>Virgil rolled his eyes. “Not this way specifically, just… badly. A reversal of roles.”</p><p>“Kiddo,” Patton beseeched. It seemed he had found his voice long enough to make one last attempt to reach him. “Think of Thomas…”</p><p>“None of this will be at Thomas’s expense,” Janus said firmly, more for Thomas’s benefit than Patton’s. “But you three… to the extent that it won’t affect Thomas… I think you’re going to have an unpleasant time.”</p><p>“Hell,” Remus added succinctly. “It’s gonna be hell. And I, for one, cannot wait.”</p><p>“There’s no coming back from this,” Roman warned, naively, as if they were still discussing whether or not this was going to happen. “If you do this, you can’t take it back. This won’t be something that you can fix. You’ll start a war that you can never win.”</p><p>“Are you afraid of death?” Remus asked, ominous and amused and <em>angry.</em> “Because I’m not.”</p><p>Janus let his tone turn icy. “I’m not afraid to burn bridges. You’ve shown me there was nothing worth having on the other side anyway.”</p><p>Logan nudged his glasses up his nose. “Are you prepared for the consequences of this? Surely you understand there is potential for harm to Thomas, despite your statements otherwise.”</p><p>Virgil shot back, “Surely <em>you</em> won’t allow your own self-righteousness to come before Thomas’s well-being. After all the years <em>we</em> spent looking out for Thomas at our own expense, it only seems fair that it’s your turn now.”</p><p>“How long did we spend, protecting Thomas above all else? How long did we suffer, for the greater good?” Janus’s voice was low and dangerous. “Are you telling me that you wouldn’t do the same?”</p><p>Patton crossed his arms, a determined frown on his face. “We’re saying it shouldn’t come to that.”</p><p>“But it did,” Virgil retorted. “It did already. Can’t you see that?”</p><p>Before Patton could respond, Remus added, “And it will again, because here we are.” Remus snapped his fingers and the lights went out. His teeth and eyes glowed unnaturally in the dark the way a glow stick might. “And just think of all the <em>fun</em> we’re going to have.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>now that I'm posting this... I'm starting to think I should have just scrapped this fic... so if you made it this far, thanks for reading lmao</p><p>I think the fact that there's no happy ending is what's bothering me. but idk</p></blockquote></div></div>
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